I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
