guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
do nipples grow back?
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