I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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