I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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