you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
