Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Rumble strips road head = magical
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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