Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
