WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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