I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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