Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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