You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
