so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
