I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
