Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
