id be glad to
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Still dying that you shit outside
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Two words: blizzard sex
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
