go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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