Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
