Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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