I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
