i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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