I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
