maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize