I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
