why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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