Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
