I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
