I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
