I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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