she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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