So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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