I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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