woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
