You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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