Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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