Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
