let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
