Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
