seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
