I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
