Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
