whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
