and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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