the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
