Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
