It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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