if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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