...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
