If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
