3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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