I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
