I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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