definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
