We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
