We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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