remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
