Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Boobs speak an international language.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
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Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize