Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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