The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
