Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
